Archive for August, 2007

Soundtrack for Rainy Nights and Good Company :-)

Posted in music on August 18, 2007 by incogshegro

Ok, so it’s a rainy night, you’re with that special someone,you’ve lit some incense and candles, and you’re ready to do the do – what stays in heavy rotation in your cd player??? If  you could burn the ultimate mood music cd, what would you put on it?

So here is my list, in no particular order. As you’ll see, alot of these are old songs. Some were chosen for their lyrics, others for  having a baseline that pulses straight through your… nether-regions  :-)

Exercise caution when using. Wouldn’t want you to strain yourself with the tantric gymnastics that are sure to follow…   :-)

 Let me know what your songs are…

1. “Electric Relaxation” Tribe Called Quest

2. “Bonita Applebaum” Tribe Called Quest

3. “Break U Off” The Roots

4. “The Hypnotic” The Roots

5. “Come Close” Common

6. “Love Is Stronger Than Pride” (reggae rmx) Sade

7. “Sweetest Taboo” Sade

8. “Cherish The Day” Sade

9. “Different” Goapele

10. “Good Love” Goapele

11. “If Its Not Today” Floetry

12. “Say Yes” Floetry

13. “Hold On” Dwele

14. “Sean” Aya

15. “Nobody Knows Me” Aya

16. “Jonez In My Bones” D’Angelo

17. “Lady” D’Angelo

18. “I Can’t Wait” Sleepy Brown

19. “Prototype” Andre 3000

20. “Love It” Bilal

21. “Still A Friend of Mine” Incognito

22. “No Ordinary Love” Sade

23. “My Lova” Dwele

24. “We Can Be New” Amel Larrieux

25. “Stray Away” The Rebirth

26. “Sweet Love” Anita Baker

27. “Rapture” Anita Baker

28. “Love Rain” Jill Scott ft. Mos Def

29. “Whenever, Whatever” Jill Scott

30. “Touch” Omarion

31. “Clubbin’” Marques Houston ft. Joe Budden

32. “All That I Can Say” Mary J. Blige

33. “Earth” Meshell Ndegeocello

34. “Love Song #2″ Meshel Ndegeocello

35. “You” Raheem Devaugn

Poem 2

Posted in poem on August 14, 2007 by incogshegro

(written for a friend, about a year back, on a rainy evening…) 

.

the moon sheds tears tonight

as i lay here, restless

wishing my wishes possessed the power to transport you here

at the speed of lunar light

so listen to the night’s song and rest easy

enveloped in the silver lining of heaven’s nebula

knowing that each drop of liquid sky that splashes like drum beats against your windowpane

is really a thought, by me, of you…

.

Incogshegro

Note To Self… (Or, “Mild Embarrasment, 101″)

Posted in cybercrush on August 14, 2007 by incogshegro

… please REMEMBER to cloak, by marking as private, any post with a poem CLEARLY DEDICATED to a cyberspace crush — BEFORE inviting said individual to read your blog. Talk about a Freudian Slip…   :-)     

LMAO!!!

.

So You Know I Gotta Weigh In On The Buju Issue :-)

Posted in buju, gay pride, homophobia, religion on August 11, 2007 by incogshegro

So on my myspace page I wrote a bulletin about the whole issue of Buju Banton signing the Reggae Compassionate act (which he later claimed never to have signed. whatever). I’m going too paste the original wording of the bulletin, followed by an excerpt of a post on another myspace page, followed by my swift rebuttal (ah yes, the future attorney in me smiles today).  Here it goes…

Long Post.

So, if you go to femmenoirenet , there’s a story about how Buju has finally been dragged, kicking and screaming, into signing the Reggae Compassionate Act (where artistes pledge not to sing homophobic songs or make inflammatory statements). My response to the article is as follows…Folks in cyberspace, don’t get it twisted. The signing of this pact by these reggae artists does not mean, in ANY way, that they’ve changed their homophobic views.Keep in mind that Buju and some of his friends were arrested in Jamaica for entering the home of a gay man and beating the stuffing out of the man and the man’s friends, who were over at the time. They beat him so badly that one of his eyes is now a grey pulpy mess, permanently blinded. I live in the caribbean and I can tell you for a fact that Buju STILL PERFORMS “BOOM BYE-BYE”, in open defiance of international pressure from various gay associations that he desist from doing so.

I’m going to state the obvious. The only reason that Buju and the rest of these “artistes” signed the Reggae Compassionate Act is because they are losing much-needed concert revenue. Gay groups in America have been successful in getting their concerts cancelled in several cities. As much as they speak out against “Babylon System” in their music, it seems that the hypocrisy lies in their reliance on Babylon’s “foreign dollars”, which they line their pockets with…

As far as I’m concerned, getting someone to sign an Act, by twisting his arm to do so, DOES NOT MEAN that the individual has changed his ways, and more importantly, his mind. Keep in mind, WE CANNOT LEGISLATE TOLERANCE, and a ‘contract’ cannot eradicate ignorance in its purest form.

I for one am sick of these ‘artists’, who lack any creativity (the only things they sing about are sex, the latest dance, “bad-man” violence, marijuana, and killing gay people – I dare you to tell me differently) going from city to city spewing venom – and ignorant ‘fans’ willingly forking over their hard-earned dollars to hear this garbage.

Don’t get me wrong. The beats and music are infectious. I’m really not trying to hate. But let’s call a spade a spade: Buju, Beenie, Bounty, etc are sorry excuses for inheritors of the musical legacy of Bob Marley. He set the standard and paved the way for these jokers to make a living through their craft – and he never needed to spit out violent lyrics to do so.

Hmmm… I wonder if Buju will sign another Reggae Compassionate Act, compelling him to make amends for the young man that he blinded for life???

These men don’t care one %$^ about making ammends to the gay people that they continuously offend. They only care about their pockets.

Bottom line: DON’T buy their records, DON’T go to their concerts, and most importantly – DON’T FALL FOR THE OKEY-DOKE, FOLKS.

Let me know your thoughts…

D

So that was the original post. On my friend’s page, she asked folks to weigh in on the issue as well. Here is a bit of what one Jamaican brother wrote:

Jamaica is not ‘homophobic’ – that would mean that the country is ‘afraid’ of homosexuals (since that is what a ‘phobia’ is). My country however is not very tolerant of homosexuals. The main reason is religious, Jamaica is a Christian country and the King James version of the Bible (the most common translation in Jamaica) does say, in Leviticus 20:13 – “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.” so you might as well ask Christians to sign documents too (I never use any Bible verse to defend anything, mainly because I don’t follow everything in it, no one else does and if you aren’t Christian, why would the Bible matter to you anyway? – But that’s just me….funny enough, that same chapter talks about lying with virgins, but most people seem to be selective.A more general though reason is that we see it is unnatural and nasty. Some western countries see it as being intolerant but just like people are intolerant of murderers (which can all understand) or not bowing lower than a person older than you (which most of us can’t understand), we are not tolerant of what we disapprove of, based on OUR societal and cultural norms – not somebody elses’.Countries like the USA and UK tout “free speech” and freedom but then try to force their world views onto people. Don’t let them into your country, no problem, you reserve the right to control what your people are exposed to – but don’t dare try to change our country, culture and music – the colonial days are long over and we don’t owe the IMF or World Bank any money either.Then let’s not even start about the many Gay males in Jamaican society who come from uptown, drive into the ghettoes, pick up little boys in their fancy cars, carry them off and molest them, and give them some money or material things. That is what made Elephant Man write the songs he has – he witnessed that growing up.Try to understand our culture and history before passing judgement. Talk to a few Jamaicans who actually grew up in Jamaica too. I am always available and I am much more tolerant than many Jamaicans (though I still think homosexuality is nasty). 

Now, you know I had to respond…

The predictable, unoriginal bible quotes that people use to defend ignorance is getting a tad bit tired now. Personally I’m not a christian, so quoting the bible has zero effect on me. As a black woman, the very idea of allowing my sense of right and wrong to be dicated by the bible, an effective tool of  opression by white slavemasters, is ridiculous.

When are people going to wake up and face the truth – most people are born who they are. Who would chose to be gay, knowing the kind of backlash there is out here??? You don’t chose your eye colour, skin colour, or which hand you write with, either.

It’s funny how those that profess to be “christian” exhibit some of the most “unchristianlike” behaviour around. Look beyond homophobia. The Crusades is a good example. So is slavery. What about Native Americans being wiped out, pushed off the land, and force-converted in the name of christianity? What about that all-knowing, great purveyor of christain truth- George Bush? What about evangelists like Jim Baker? To be honest, christians have very little credibility with me, on any issue.

I’m pretty sure that there will be a witty response to my post, which will undoubtably prove the complete lack of tolerance that I speak of. Needless to say – I really don’t care.

In addition to not having a “choice” about my sexuality, the truth is that I personally would not change, even if I did have a “choice”. What the hell is it with people and their sickeningly irritating need for ERR’BODY to conform and do as THEY do, anyway?!?!

Every single thing about me screams resistance – from the locs that fall halfway down my back, to the way I revel in the darkness of my skin, to the way I show absolutely no interest in football or cricket while living in a country that takes its obsession with both to annoying heights.

My stubbornness is deeply ingrained. My sexuality is just one more example of my refusal to just sit quietly and “behave” in a manner that others feel befitting of a young lady. Fuck ‘em all.  While not my first priority or reason for having a relationship with another woman, some measure of satisfaction is mine – knowing that by merely holding another sista’s hand, I am flipping the bird to the Partiarchy. Just my little way of “sticking it to The Man”, I guess…

It really irritates me the way that folks like to whip out the bible quotes to explain their irrational behaviour. The SAME BIBLE that claims that there was a man who built an arc that was large enough to carry TWO OF EVERY LIVING SPECIES ON THE PLANET. The SAME BIBLE that claims that a man named Jonah spent time chilling in a whale, and lived to tell about it. The SAME BIBLE that has been, for years, tampered with and altered until it barely resembles its original state. (I saw DaVinci Code, y’all, LOL). But I digress…

The fact that my Black people continue to hold on to this oppressive book, FULLY KNOWING THE HISTORY OF HOW THEY CAME TO BECOME CHRISTIAN, boggles my mind. But even more hurtful is the idea that a people so used to the most brutal forms of oppression can turn around and, instead of being more compassionate for it, rest licks on some of their own children. Children who also have no say in being who they are. The same way we all, as people of colour, didn’t CHOOSE our skin colour.

So, what’s a sista to do??? I for one, choose to be just as proud of something that I have no control over, as my Black people are of something that they can’t control either. Our skin colour. MY SEXUALITY. I refuse to go through life with my tail tucked between my legs just ‘cuz  YOU have a problem with my being gay.

As for Buju and his band of merry hypocrites – I wish them clarity, and the ability to spend at least one full day without marinating in their hatred, ignorance, and grandiose sense of self-importance.

Incog’, as usual, signing out…

Poem 1

Posted in crush, cybercrush, muse, poem on August 11, 2007 by incogshegro

So, I wrote this recently after being inspired by the photo of an cyberspace pal.  Yeah, her visual is that ill. what can I say? I have a weakness for a pretty face, LOL.  Forget that previous post, y’all. Your girl doesn’t stay down for long  :-)    …

 

She be That Muse that
launched the pens of a thousand scribes
including me
echoing auras that eluded me
with vibes
transcending time and cyberspace
She
possessed the ability
to make my mind race
She
had eyes that made me drop
and
a frame that made my rhythm stop
cardiac
palpitations and lost breath from
asthmatic type attack
falling breathlessly
in intrigue of
this supernatural beauty whose photo sat
fearlessly
and fiercely
before me…

 

Incogshegro

Be Careful What You Ask For…

Posted in crush, tabanca, unrequitted love on August 10, 2007 by incogshegro

… or you just might actually get it. 

So the story begins about five or six years ago, when She breezed into the room and began her steady descent into the folds of my heart. She was sort of a globe-trotting nomad, who found herself in Trinidad on a work project. 

We met while working together in a performance group; and I gotta admit that I was drawn to her immediately. Visually the sista was (and still is), to me, absolutely stunning. Waist-length locs cascading down her back, kind eyes, beautiful smile, and an amazing body. She dug capoeira, literature, and yoga. She lived clean – wouldn’t put anything into her temple that was processed or slaughtered.

Part of my fascination with her was her well-guarded tongue; it only made me want to get to know her even more.

Folks, have you ever thought about The One? Ever thought about the type of person he or she would be; what their interests would be, etc…? It sounds so ridiculous to say it, but She seemed to have stepped right out of my daydreams and stood in front of me, as if to say yesss, it is entirely possible for the universe to send me what I’ve always wanted. She sparked probably the two most meaningful poems I have ever written; and She brought out of me a thirst for more – more knowledge, more creativity, more exploration.

Over the years we kept crossing paths; she’d return to Trinidad every so often, and when I worked on a cruise ship, She sometimes picked me up when I was in her port.

I use to tease her about wanting to get to know her a bit better; but in a joking way because, deep down – I never thought She’d take me seriously. She’d always laugh, and make some comment about me being a player. I’d laugh right back, secretly hoping that She didn’t really see me that way. Our friendship continued for years this way, and the ,essed up thing is that, instead of my feelings for her lessening, they grew more each time I saw her.

Fast forward to a month ago; She was back down here in T and T, so I invited her to spend a few days at my apartment so She’d be nearer to where She needed to get some things done. I really wasn’t expecting anything other than to get to spend time with someone that I have grown very fond of.

First night was cool; we spent the time catching up. Aside from my attraction to here, we shared a genuine friendship, and I really looked up to her as someone who embodies so much of who I’m trying to become.

But anyhow a few nights into her stay, something happened. No, I’m not going into details; it meant too much to me. Except to say that I re-wrote those two poems in the small of her back repeatedly, and She seared her name into my skin each time She gripped me close. But that’s as much as I’m gonna give you. All I know is that all of those years of holding back, and ignoring feelings, spilled over on that night. And then…

…Nothing.

She said that She couldn’t be what I wanted or needed; She said that things were complicated in her life, and that She doesn’t want to drag me into all of that. She tried to explain how things are with her. And she held her head in her hands as though she deeply regretted ‘doing this’ to me.

I listened, quietly; trying to concentrate on being understanding. Trying to ensure that I didn’t say something selfish. Trying to see why it was so hard for her to give of herself to me. But I’d be lying if I wrote this as though I wasn’t crying inside. What we had shared, over and over and over that night – felt so right to me.  I swallowed hard and willed the tears stinging my eyes to dissipate before she could ever see. Before she could ever know how much she truly means to me. I managed to smile and tell her that I understood, that it really was ok, that things wouldn’t ‘get weird’ between us.

The rest of the days spent at my place passed with each of us refusing to talk about that night. I gotta pat myself on the back for doing a good job of switching back to being just friends. After a few days, She went back to stay at the place that She’s renting while She’s down here.  And I cried for a while.

But the thing about tears is that they bring healing. And with healing comes some measure of clarity. So it’s one month later, and while I still don’t really get it, or her, after thinking about what went down I’ve come to a few conclusions:

1.      sometimes what I think I want, no matter how bad I want it, may not be what’s best for me.

2.      sometimes, someone may truly like me but that does not mean that they are  capable of seeing me in the way I wish that they would.

3.      if I have to cajole, hint, or coax you into seeing me for who I truly am – if I feel as though I have to ‘sell’ my attributes to get you to give me a chance – you’re not The One.

4.  I really am worthy of so much more than She can give; I’m as good a catch as I think that She is. And so…

5.      one of these days, the right woman is going to come along who will want me the way that I want her, and who won’t make me work so hard for her heart.

I have got so much love to give, so much that sometimes it feels as though its going to overflow from my chest. But you know what? I’m going to keep living, one breath at a time, keep doing my own thaaang one step at a time; and one of these days she’ will manifest, ready to receive what I’ve got to offer. I ain’t scuuurrred anymore, so I don’t have to rush the process   :-)

Incog’ signing out…